Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too

Okay, Rodger. Zoolander is a favorite of mine, one of those movies that I would watch every week and randomly quote when among friends. You're half named after Derrick Rose but if you were born ten years ago, there's a good chance you would have been half named after Derek Zoolander instead.

I give the movie a lot of credit: never during my first viewing did I ever question Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson as male models. I'm not dogging their looks, but in retrospect this might be the most unbelievable premise of the film (this is, to remind you, a film that claims JFK was killed by "two lookers" on a grassy knoll).

My top five Zoolander moments:

5. The gasoline fight

You would never see this scene in today's movies; the cost of gas is just way too high. Also, I was surprised that Derek was smart enough to know that lighting that cigarette was a bad idea.

Man or Superman?

I know, Rodger: 218 episodes of Smallville and there were – and this is being generous – only fifteen or so episodes really worth watching. Smallville mostly retread the usual teenage drama found on hour-long shows that have actors in their twenties portray teens in high school. Occasionally (and not often enough), things went boom. Usually (and way too often), Lana, Chloe, and Lois conveniently blacked out (I think there is something severely wrong with them – you cannot spend that much time unconscious and also have a clean bill of health. There are gaps in your memory, Lana? Then you are not well). In the end, you don’t even really get to see Tom Welling don the Superman suit. I waited ten years for that.