Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Bad Dudes, Ninjas, and the President of the United States of America


Rodger, are you a bad enough dude to rescue the president?


I wonder if the developers over at Data East thought this was our protocol for rescuing a kidnapped president. This plan is structurally sound, but I question how well those in charge carried it out. “Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the president?” Um, shouldn’t they be certain that they are before sending them out on the most important mission ever? We'd never send some random guy to run track at the Olympics and wait until warm ups to ask if he's a fast enough dude to qualify for the medal round. We find that out ahead of time. We have a protocol for that.

Bad Dudes is pretty straightforward. You control either Blade or Striker (their legal names, I'm sure) and beat up ninjas. Or they beat you up. There are also dogs and people on fire who chase you around. It's kind of a trip, but that's what games were like in the 80's. And we paid to play these types of games because they let us live out our fantasies of punching ninjas in the throat. According to Wikipedia, your reward for rescuing the president is getting the opportunity to enjoy a hamburger with him, which is a pretty weak reward considering the massive amounts of blood on your hands from all that throat punching.


(I just noticed the "HA! HA! HA! HA!" Do we not get to have a burger with him after all?)

Ok, Rodger - I sort of just wanted to write about Bad Dudes this time around. But, I do have two important messages for you:

  • Plan for emergencies. If something terrible happens (or if something great happens), having a plan is 100% better than not having a plan. If you don't have a plan...well, I don't know what emergency scenario would be the equivalent to sending two random dudes to rescue the president, but I imagine the success rates of such plans are low.
  • If anyone ever asks you if you're a bad enough dude to rescue the president, just say no and be done with it.


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