Bad Dudes, Ninjas, and the President of the United States of America

Rodger, are you a bad enough dude to rescue the president?

I wonder if the developers over at Data East thought this was our protocol for rescuing a kidnapped president. This plan is structurally sound, but I question how well those in charge carried it out. “Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the president?” Um, shouldn’t they be certain that they are before sending them out on the most important mission ever? We'd never send some random guy to run track at the Olympics and wait until warm ups to ask if he's a fast enough dude to qualify for the medal round. We find that out ahead of time. We have a protocol for that.

I'm Batman

Rodger, if you haven’t seen Christopher Nolan’s Batman trilogy yet, you need to. Right now. Get off this website, put away your homework, skip your chores, and go watch Batman Begins and The Dark Knight. Then rest for a little bit. Maybe do some of that homework. Is mom mad because of the whole skipping chores thing? Maybe clean your room or whatever. Even better, clean my car. After that, watch The Dark Knight Rises.

I sat and forever am at work here

You’ve probably seen my collection of Gilmore Girls DVDs by now, Rodger. Perhaps you've even borne witness to the show’s greatness. I don’t watch the show much now (at this point, it’s been off-air for about five years), but in college I was in front of the TV every Tuesday from 7:00 – 8:00PM CST, emotionally engaged in the lives of Lorelai and Rory Gilmore. Back then, I had a Gilmore Girls poster hanging on a wall in my room. The Gilmores watched over me as I slept until your mom ripped the poster, “accidentally” she’ll tell you, but I don’t think she’s that maladroit.