Ohana

Rodger, sorry it's been awhile since I last wrote. Life has been busy, what with raising a baby and all. Actually a lot has happened since I last wrote. Your great grandpa, Roger Moe, passed away. My parents decided to sell their house (at this point, it still hasn't sold) and you, your mom, and I moved into our own apartment a couple miles away. I worked a second job for a couple weeks, then quit because I didn't have enough time or energy to spend with you and your mom. There was Thanksgiving, the end of the world that wasn't, Christmas, and the New Year. These are just the highlights.

So, Rodger. Back on track, at least for now.

Lilo and Stitch is one of my favorite movies. It's funny and cute, and the title characters are two of the most interesting and original characters I've come across in a Disney movie. They're kinda like Calvin and Hobbes, if Calvin were a girl and if Hobbes was just like Calvin, but an alien.

I'm Batman

Rodger, if you haven’t seen Christopher Nolan’s Batman trilogy yet, you need to. Right now. Get off this website, put away your homework, skip your chores, and go watch Batman Begins and The Dark Knight. Then rest for a little bit. Maybe do some of that homework. Is mom mad because of the whole skipping chores thing? Maybe clean your room or whatever. Even better, clean my car. After that, watch The Dark Knight Rises.

Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too

Okay, Rodger. Zoolander is a favorite of mine, one of those movies that I would watch every week and randomly quote when among friends. You're half named after Derrick Rose but if you were born ten years ago, there's a good chance you would have been half named after Derek Zoolander instead.

I give the movie a lot of credit: never during my first viewing did I ever question Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson as male models. I'm not dogging their looks, but in retrospect this might be the most unbelievable premise of the film (this is, to remind you, a film that claims JFK was killed by "two lookers" on a grassy knoll).

My top five Zoolander moments:

5. The gasoline fight

You would never see this scene in today's movies; the cost of gas is just way too high. Also, I was surprised that Derek was smart enough to know that lighting that cigarette was a bad idea.